Articles

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Why grief is not weakness, needing others is not a victim mentality, and the Body of Christ must learn to make room for suffering There is a particular kind of pain that happens when someone finally finds the courage to say, “I'm struggling. I […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach One of the greatest mistakes we make in personal growth, healing, and even spiritual formation is assuming that every uncomfortable emotion is evidence that something inside us needs fixing. Sometimes it does. But not always. The goal is not to become so regulated that […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Why does grief feel so lonely, even when you're surrounded by people who love you? You can sit at a table full of people and still feel completely alone. You can laugh one moment and unexpectedly cry the next. You may want people near […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach What happens when the person you keep extending grace to keeps choosing sin and harmful behavior? Many well-intentioned church teachings encourage us to pray more, forgive again, offer more grace, and love people out of their sin.  These are deeply biblical responses, but when […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Sometimes the greatest harm doesn’t happen in the moment of trauma. Sometimes it happens afterward, when a wounded person’s pain gets mistaken for rebellion, cries for help get treated like character flaws, and brokenness gets reduced to behavior. When we moralize pain instead of […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Many people were never taught how to emotionally process what they feel. Instead, they learned to suppress emotions, spiritualize them away, over-analyze them, or react impulsively to them. But emotions were never meant to be ignored or feared. They are signals. Invitations. Indicators that […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach He invites you to stay connected to Him through what you feel. Many people learned to disconnect from emotions in order to survive.To stay strong.To avoid rejection.To appear “okay.”Even spiritually mature people often learned to suppress feelings instead of process them with God. But […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Trauma isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always come with flashbacks. It isn’t always tied to dramatic memories. And it doesn’t always have a clear “before and after.” Sometimes, trauma sounds quieter than that. Sometimes it simply feels like your body never fully relaxed again. […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Many people carry an image of God that is quiet, restrained, distant, or emotionally neutral. In this view, God may be loving, but in a calm, almost detached way, as if His affection is polite rather than passionate and personally engaging. Yet when we […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach One of the most misunderstood aspects of guilt is that people think guilt is primarily about feeling like a bad person. But at its core, guilt is actually a relational emotion. Guilt is the emotional signal that something in a relationship has been disrupted. […]