Articles

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach What if joy isn't something you simply choose but something you can actually grow? We often talk about joy as though it's a decision: Choose joy. And there is choice involved in where we place our attention, what we practice, and how we respond. […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Why does grief feel so lonely, even when you're surrounded by people who love you? You can sit at a table full of people and still feel completely alone. You can laugh one moment and unexpectedly cry the next. You may want people near […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Have you ever tried deep breathing when you're anxious and thought, This isn't helping? Or tried to motivate yourself when you felt completely shut down, only to feel even more exhausted? One reason may be simple: Not every nervous system state needs the same […]

Parenting can become frustrating when we focus only on the behavior we can see. The arguing. The meltdown. The slammed door. The procrastination. The child who seemingly cannot listen, even though you've told them three times. Neuroscience gives us another question to ask: What might be happening beneath this behavior? Behavior Is Communication Children and […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Most couples don't struggle because they don't love each other. They struggle because, in difficult moments, they don't always understand what is happening inside themselves or each other. This is one place neuroscience can offer practical insight. When we feel criticized, rejected, ignored, misunderstood, […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Understanding Sleep-Related Cognitive Intrusions Have you ever noticed yourself waking up several times during the night with the exact same thought? Not because you’re lying awake worrying.Not because you’re trying to solve a problem.In fact, you may only be awake for a few seconds […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Many people were never taught how to emotionally process what they feel. Instead, they learned to suppress emotions, spiritualize them away, over-analyze them, or react impulsively to them. But emotions were never meant to be ignored or feared. They are signals. Invitations. Indicators that […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach Trauma isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always come with flashbacks. It isn’t always tied to dramatic memories. And it doesn’t always have a clear “before and after.” Sometimes, trauma sounds quieter than that. Sometimes it simply feels like your body never fully relaxed again. […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach One of the most misunderstood aspects of guilt is that people think guilt is primarily about feeling like a bad person. But at its core, guilt is actually a relational emotion. Guilt is the emotional signal that something in a relationship has been disrupted. […]

By Vanderly Cillo | Soul Care Practitioner & Certified Neuroscience Coach At first glance, marriage might seem like a matter of love, commitment, communication, and faith, but not brain science.  Neuroscience doesn’t replace biblical wisdom about marriage, but it does explain why it works (or breaks down) at a nervous-system level.  Marriage is not just […]